How do you know when you’re ready? And how do you humbly accept when you’re not?

On the panel @raisingvibes hosted, one of the panelists @mujermedicine said something that stuck with me, “It is very important that we do not assume roles that we are not prepared for”. 

These words hit me in the heart. 

Happiness hasn’t always been a given for me. It still isn’t.

I have struggled a lot with depression and anxiety — especially the past 5 or 6 years. It took so much deep self-work to pull myself out of those dark, uncomfortable, grief-filled corners of my life. Therapy, plant medicines, herbs, groups, nature, nutrition, exercise, music, body work, art, purpose, even my tattoos!...all of these pieces have played a critical role in my healing. It was holistic, and it took dedication and discipline above all else.

When I was 8 or 9, I was identified as “gifted”.

I had scored in the 99th percentile on standardized tests and my teachers noticed that I wasn’t being challenged in the classroom. 

My parents were called into the school and were told I was being given an opportunity to develop my “gifts” in a special program. 

I have a vulnerable share this morning.

Since I was an adolescent, it has been really challenging for me to "control" my emotions. Anger, frustration, sadness, excitement.... it didn't really matter what the emotion was, if it was coming through me it was going to be huge.

There is no doubt that we live in a world that needs healing.

As we emerge out of a dark collective experience, physical and mental health disorders are at an all time high. Rates of anxiety, PTSD, depression, suicide, and stress are skyrocketing – and western medicine holds few solutions to support real transformation.

So, you want to be a psychedelic guide?

With rapidly expanding access to psychedelic medicines a new role is emerging within culture. A role that has been lost for thousands of years -- the psychedelic (or spiritual) guide.

Whew, I am writing this from Austin, TX as I integrate an incredibly activating and expansive week at the Fit for Service retreat. This sh*t was the real deal, and I don't say that lightly. As a long time event producer and healer, I tend to have a high standard for transformational healing experiences - and this set the bar another level higher. Owaken Breathwork, TRE, journaling, nature connection, physical fitness, music by the Human Experience and Gone, Gone Beyond, ecstatic dance, healthy food, epic humans... we did it all (and no, this is not a paid advertisement).

There is a constant push/pull inside my body between two archetypes:

The Artist vs. The Healer

The Artist vs. Healer internal battle shows up in my psyche in interesting ways.

Staying in the seat of the student keeps the body & mind elastic. We stay curious, questioning, and open to the mystery of the universe.

I take my role as a student seriously.

I have had a love for books, studying & learning for as long as I can remember.

As we move forward collectively in the post-prohibition era of psychedelic medicine, it feels important to define our roles.

Over time, I have come to know myself as a Psychedelic Guide. Admittedly, it has been a journey to find this resonance with this "title". Now, the word Guide feels expansive, liberating, and right to me. It fits.

We all have a story.

Each of has a unique set of powerful life experiences that largely effects the people we become. At 33, I have finally begun to piece together my story, understand how all of these experiences are related, and what they are adding up to. I'd like to begin to share a bit, in hopes that it may help shape yours.

A large part of me diving so deeply into an Ancestral Diet was birthed through a few years of unwinding my own ancestral history and DNA. This process has been extremely empowering as I have slowly uncovered more and more information about my bloodline. Last year, I finally took a DNA test so that I could find clarity on the history of my bones and blood. My whole life my family had told us that we were "Italian and Irish"...but I knew there was more to the story.

As I journey deeper onto this path of ancestral ways of eating, my relationship with food is slowly and steadily shifting. I am beginning to see each food I eat as a tool to build and nourish my body, a medicine to ease an ache, a sacred sacrament to my longevity, and a spiritual practice for my ancient soul. With each meal, I can see the tapestry that weaves each morsel of food to a specific organ or function in my earth-bound, human body. There is a depth to the symbiotic and synergistic relationship between humans, plants, and animals that our untrained eyes miss in the fast-paced modern world. It is the mystery, the unseen, the intimate way in which humans have always been fed physically and spiritually by our beloved earth.

The real magic of folk herbalism is in the sharing of plant remedies that passes between friends, family, and neighbors. I find that there is a natural, intuitive sharing of ancestral knowledge between folks when a remedy is needed - and the afflicted is open to receiving its medicine. I have had a beautiful experience the past couple days of receiving the messages from a few plants to aid in the healing of a neck injury...and I would love to share this plant spirit journey with you.

Many of us have heard the whispers in health-conscious communities about the necessity of avoiding nightshades, but why?

On the new moon in late November, I completed another phase of my journey with Ancestral Foods. For an entire moon cycle, I only ate foods that would have been consumed by my ancestors. I avoided any processed foods, processed sugars, and ate a diet rich in animals fats and proteins. I cooked almost 100% of my meals throughout this time, and deepened my relationship with my kitchen. I worked with herbs and plants that spoke to me and researched the relationships between the remedies I chose.

Death is something that we will all experience, yet is the most mysterious of human conditions. In western culture, death is often shrouded in fear, heavy diagnosis, and costly medical bills. Our last magical moments are spent unconscious in hospital beds, consumed by chemical drugs that make the transition easier. Most of us do not have the same honor and reverence for the unknown that our ancestors had. Reverence has been replaced with anxiety, and honor with fear.

Around the globe, our ancestors have identified similar foods as sacred. These foods contain nutrients and compounds that feed our bodies in both ways that science has explained and in mysterious ways that our western minds do not yet understand. There is an ineffable quality to some foods that can be viewed through the lens of contemporary homeopathy. Animal brains boost the human brain, fats heal the gut lining, and eggs are good for fertility. It seems simple, but is a wisdom that has been forgotten through generations of overconsumption of sugar and flour.

So, what about shellfish? What is the mysterious, sacred quality that is imparted when we consume these beings?

We are each a unique blend of bones, blood and earth. Through thousands of generations of migration, assimilation, and colonization we have all become parts of each other. Bits of blood from the four corners of the globe find their way into our genetic makeup, their ancestral stories hidden under generations of forgetting. Some of these ethnicities that we carry may even be in direct opposition to each other, having been mixed together through war or slavery. Their values, foods, medicines, and cultures may be different and from radically different climates.

Moments into arriving at that momentous transformation known as “adolescence”, I was categorized as a “rebellious” teenager.